It's hard out there for a simp. In the last few weeks, the 'simp' meme has been taking the internet by storm. Good men like myself are being called simp, or ''sucker idolizing mediocre pussy,' for following, adoring, and supporting cam girls on the internet.
I think it is important for good conscience journalists like myself to take it upon themselves to defend the simp cause. I'm a simp for many reasons, and I'd like to take the time and put my blog to good use. Here are five reasons why being a simp is cool.
1) Feminism
For all of history, we've been talking about HIS story, but it is time to talk about HER story. Men have expected women to fawn over them for generations, heck, centuries. We never called those women simps. We called them adoring wives or loyal. If a patriarchal man who uses women for his sexual pleasure is sometimes called a pimp, why shouldn't feminist men be simps?
2) The Pleasure
We all have our own fetishes. Some men, often called 'masochists,' get pleasure out of being put in there place. Unlike a lot of the negative and reactionary elements in our society, I think pleasure is a good thing! If you enjoy being put in your place by women, then go for it!
3) Capitalism
Well, the internal contradictions of capitalism. Capitalism forces us to live to work. By supporting ladies in their underwear online, you are allowing them to exhaustless energy under our capitalist system.
4) The Environment
It is no secret that the environment is under threat (see 'Capitalism' above). One way we can help the environment is by having less or children. Devoting all of your energy and resources to a woman who will never love you back will prevent you from having kids, thus saving the environment.
5) Boobies
Did we mention boobies? (.)(.) tee-hee
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