Why We Need a Dwarf President (Preferably Black)

The history of American Presidents has been male, pale, and stale. Out of all 45 Presidents we've had, only one has been a POC despite POCs making up more than a quarter of the country's population. One must also take into account that woman make up 51% of the population but have been a whopping 0% of all Presidents.

How are POC and women supposed to thrive in a country that doesn't give them political power?

I believe it is time we start implementing affirmative action efforts in politics despite the qualifications or party of the person in office.

But with all of this talk about minority and women Presidents, I think we have forgotten another neglected segment of our society: the handicapped. Sure, FDR had polio, and Buchannan was gay, but we've never really made progress on that front.

It is my sincere recommendation that we begin thinking about electing more people with dwarfism to political office, perhaps even to the Presidency.





Anybody who has suffered a life with dwarfism has already suffered more than any President in history and will, therefore, more emphatic to his or her constituents.

It would also send a message to the world that anybody can make it in America.

Bud Light made me gay

It has become a recent, needed feature of American life that companies show their solidarity with the gay community. There is no better way to prove bigots wrong. We have the mighty on your side, they have the scum of the earth. Every June, companies around the world show their support by making their products and social media extra-gay friendly. Rainbow flags here, a lesbian couple there, it's all really great.

But I want to thank them for more than just that. I want to thank them because Bud Light made me gay.

A few years ago, I was straight. Actually, I still identify primarily as straight. However, for one special night in 2015, I was gay because of Bud Light.

It all started when I walked into that bar and ordered a Bud Light with lime. A couple of nice fellas approached me and sparked up a conversation. They were enchanting, and one of them bought me a few more Bud Lights with lime. As the night went on, I got drunker and wilder, and the room started getting hotter and hotter. I started feeling tremendously horny, but, to my chagrin, there were no ladies in the bar that night.

I'll spare the dirty details, but I want to once again thank the Budweiser corporation and those handsome young men for what happened next.

Protests in Anchorage

(Photo from June 2nd in Anchorage)

The protests against the police have finally reached Alaska, and I was on the front lines as both an activist and as a journalist. It is unbelievable what I saw yesterday, so I'll just let pictures do the storytelling.

Fox News Should Be Illegal

Fox News should be illegal.

There, I said it.


Fox News has been spreading hate, lies, and stoking racial hatred for decades.

It's time to bring them to an end.